te​:​rs

by Tadzio Records

/
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1.
Still not confronting myself as much as I should Still I don’t question enough Who’s basicly scared Who doesn’t dare to speak up While being aware of Every cause and every void that is left who tries to read gestures and facial expressions before anything else I’m observing myself There are 1000 possibilities, That’s what I heard you say Apparently I missed to learn to better shut myself away With every single try to please I watch my patience not to snap used to drop that thread before There’s little scope left but it helped to get along perfect in subjects we never required Etched in our minds by our fears and desires High hopes of that time directly behind Who’s sharing the blame for lowering sights If this is the best choice I could have made What keeps me still awake safe and content at least for a while out of words, not taking sides never worth a try never worth a try far beyond our means there’s nothing in between In line with nothing anymore far beyond our means there is nothing in between but entirely below what kept me back was in my words what kept me back is was my thoughts what kept me back is was my hopes what kept me back is in your words what kept me back is in your thoughts what kept me back is in your hope
2.
All over those years of fighting oppression, showing positions, taking up stands You’re finally easy, you know all the stories, what’s right or wrong But you’re not done You not even noticed You’re using resources Someone is giving But no questioning of that Nothing to speak of You know better topics, It’s not that important, You don’t get the point Now you try to tell me what I should take care off Which problems to tackle Don’t you dare Why don’t you start with yourself Questioning chances, matters positions I dare say fail Eyes, words, hands Facing complicity Step back and listen Keep on being part of the problem Didn’t do it on purpose, Nobody told you, just did what you learned I don’t care Why don’t you start with yourself Questioning chances, matters, positions I dare say fail Eyes, words, hands Eyes, words, hands off eyes words, hands off Eyes, words, hands off eyes words, hands off
3.
Remember all the faces, Remember all the names, Remember any need to catch a meaning anyway Remember all the desperate voices Or any single try Remember any nagging question about self-deceit and lies questions as preconditions nothing but enough fear and failing, no excuses and no place for last attempts I remember all the faces Remember all the names Remember all abortive plans to catch a meaning anyway Now I clearly see things changing Watch you getting calm How questions became answers No desperation left Who keeps apart who is the freak, is it me or is it you How could I think or even hope that you would ever try to move Questions - preconditions Nothing but enough Fear and failing There’s no chance for Last attempts and All the names and all the faces All the desperate voices There’s nothing you see Nothing you say Can’t keep apart who is the freak, But I would want you to speak up if it was you listening to me All the names and all the faces all the names and all the faces all the desperate voices
4.
Lost thoughts, cleared minds I lost my thought because of you. Back down to earth, teared out, what’s new One single word and two more seconds, inability to breathe Familiarity of patterns. familiar feeling of unease How many years, too many tries, what does it take us to increase Wish I could say I didn’t know about anxiety to please So who has to learn from failure Who doubts, who pays, who quits, who speaks Even though there’re parts I choose- decision’s still not up to me The more I try to disembark The more I learn about expense Blowbacks to bear if I refuse – up to this point with empty hands So I abandon hopes and habits shadows interfere my claims There are threats in every gesture, well-intentioned, all the worse If I could find a way to dump your world possessing all my mind Still I knew that there is no chance to take my body out of sight Choose or decide My body, my mind trying to keep out every word between the lines trying not to catch – what is greeted with your smiles Choose or decide My body, my mind For all we felt and couldn’t say We kept its heart to tough it out right to the end someday Choose or decide My body, my mind
5.
Ways, words, doubt, right, strong, weak, wrong, cry I swear I listened to your words, it was hard enough to try Couldn’t find it in your heart didn’t see it in your eyes All the change You didn’t make All mistakes I might have made For the sake of completeness Both down for the count Facing your shifty eyes Blurting all out Caution and safety, We’ll manage alright Ignoring what’s left All out of your sight It counts for a lot, You count for a lot You’re down but not out All the change You didn’t make all mistakes I might have made Ways, words, doubt, right, strong, weak, wrong, cry I swear I listened to your words it was hard enough to try Couldn’t find it in your heart didn’t see it in your eyes Days, lines, tears, nights, thoughts, leaks, life-lies I swear I listened to your words it was hard enough to try Couldn’t find it in your heart didn’t see it in your eyes Couldn’t find it in your heart, didn’t see it in your eyes Couldn’t find it in your heart, didn’t see it in your eyes
6.
If we could only close our eyes Some things might change on second sight Building dens, familiar hands Four of us here, six of us there you and me these fights and tears When did we decide to keep the speechlessness for years Ways and means widely differ You desperately pretended You reached a point where you’re alright Shaking hands and nervous eyes I’m pretty sure at least you tried You said you dwelled on thoughts You said you tried to care You said you didn’t lie about the suffering you shared Who decides Who defines Who tries to step aside who lies Sister you knew better time is short and chances rare, I tried everything I could, everything I dared If you asked me ‘bout regrets, I’d say I couldn’t take more steps ‘cause I’d regretted more to face the whole dimension of dissents And to loose the last remaining expectations that I kept which would have meant to fatally break with all relation that we had. All the time and all the distance all the memories I don’t have All the talks and situations I occasionally missed most Somehow turned out to be allies No memories, no ghosts

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tadzio records 004

Post Hardcore / Post Punk from Göttingen
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released August 14, 2015

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Tadzio Records Würzburg, Germany

Tadzio Records
DIY Label based in Berlin/ Germany

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